So everything has been good, i dont remember the last time i wrote. But I am really happy lately, I think its cause i kissed angel, and i knew i liked him, and this just makes me see that i like him more. So Star said there is a junior college in arizona, im seriously thinking that im going to look it up and get information. That would be so awesome. I dont know though. Last night was kinda fun, but im so sick, because it was so cold. And yeah kind of akward, well not for me but i think for looney, cause it was his girlfriend that was there. I love benji, he is so cute, damn, hook me up. Thank god i only have 42 days left of school that is counting weekends and non school days, cause im done with school. Yahooo. I really want tickets to the 50 concert, but i dont know how im supposed to get there, but whatever, because i doubt stars parents are gonna let her drive, but we could always lie right?
I hate girls. I do not understand what the fuck baby j just fuckin pulled. He can fuck off for all i care. I seriously am DONE with him and that whole group. Fuck all of them, and Cassandra i hope you are happy with a guy that fucks with your head all the time, and a guy that is going to cheat on you. FUck you all. Love, Cherry
Its done for reals this time. Im done with those type of guys, well at least that hang out with eachother. Last night i had a lot of fun. I knew that my Baby was at his ex's house, but whenever i asked him he denied it, so like the dumbass that i am, I believed him. Well so last night was fun and all, but then today i get a phone call from Cassandra, stupid bitch. She only helped me prove my point that he was there. She is psycho seriously. Thank you Cassandra for proving my point. Fuck you baby, see i saw right through you, I even told you, you were going to her house,and you fucking lied. What is up with guys, I seriously cant find myself a good guy. Why not, I think that i at least deserve somebody that will treat me good, and not LIE! Whatever, Im done with it. Im done with dating guys for a while. Fuck guys, thats all I have to say. Except for my homeys, cause I had fun with them. I can at least trust some of them, fuck you nasty smell. Thanks for taking my money, that shows how a homey treats eachother. Fucker. Everything was awesome this weekend. Except for a couple things. I am happy cause last night kinda was sucking for a while. I hope nobodys mad at me, cause I was trying to do to many things at once. Whatever. Love, Cherry
So I really dont know where the fuck I am in my life right now. I dont....I need to stop bangin' and i know that. I cant do this anymore. This is to much drama. To live this whole life for what 17 years now. God, I need to get out of it. As much as I love the way im living, I hate it at the same time. School sucks, boys suck, life just sucks. I realized today that im not over Vince. Everytime Quita talks about him, I feel my eyes get a little teary. Im very happy Star gets her car back tomorrow. That is going to be good, cause now we will be able to do whatever we want to do. Now that im with Baby J, I dont really know if Im happy. I am cause I like him, but I dont need this drama, with the blood shit and all. Theres enough of that. Oh well, maybe tomorrow will be good. Although today was good, I dont know. Kick Back.
So I really am confused. So I like Baby J, but i dont know, cause it seems like a lot of drama with him. And i told myself after I broke up with Vince that I was done with guys that live that life style. But i do kinda like him. And i know he likes me alot. But all this shit with his ex.....what the fuck is that? And then about William..thats just confusing, and plus I dont even really think he is even that cute. But whatever. I dont know what to do. Hopefully this weekend will be fun,because its really been sucking lately. I hopefully will stay with Jeff one night. But I dont know, so about Busted, what the fuck does she want, ohh im gonna kick her ass, come on and try it...DUMBASS Bitch..Anyways, shits going ok...I guess...........
So fuck everything. I am still in a bad fucking mood. I hate this bull shit. I get grounded for a week and my phone taken away, all because of one fucking dumb ass salad. Im sorry i was fucking hungry, and i wasnt even eating the fucking bull shit. I was just sitting there, so why the fuck was i involved with all this bull shit. Fuck all this. I cannot wait untill june 5th when i get the fuck out of that school. You know that, i seriously feel like i just dont need to go on anymore. Yet im not going to end my life yet, just wait a little bit. Act like everything is alright, and then just surprise everybody. Fuck the world. They can all suck it. I fucking hate dumb fucking people, you know if i could kill somebody i so would, probably about 30 different people. Fuck all this fucking bull shit.
All i have to say is fuck SAN MARCOS. At least the school. You know all these damn fucking people hounding me all the damn time. What the fuck is up with that. I just need to get the fuck out of here. I need to go somewhere. Back to my old hood, where everything was all good. I hate everybody that lives and breathes in San Marcos. It is the dumbest town ive ever been in, and has the dumbest people ive ever met. Fuck stupid dumb ass people. And to William....dont try and play the game, it wont work. Hopefully Friday will be fun, and I hope im not missing out on not going to the gay ass dance. I get to hang out with my boys and get faded. Fuck this shit.
This weekend was so fucked up. So now my mom sypes on me? What the fuck is that? Psycho bitch....I mean seriously this weekend sucked. Ive been sober all weekend. Like I know i should be since I am on probation and all. But I mean when have i ever been sober for a weekend? Especially lately? I mean Friday is my getting faded days. And then this friday I cant, because my parents are fucking psycho, what the fuck. I am so fucking pissed. And then come on fuckin Bart, what the fuck. You cant get me a damn scoop of Ice cream,cause I "never" get anything for you. What the fuck is that. Hell no. I have never gotten you one fucking thing ever? Ever? You fucking little bitch. Fuck off, see if i ever do anything for you ever again. YOu know, everybody pretty much thinks that my life is easy, and that I have an easy life. But fuck that. DO I? NO. There is so much drama. With this gang sweep going on, what the fuck are we supposed to do. I mean what the fuck we cant just chill on the street corner. Fuck the police. And Bart. Fuck everybody. I just need to smoke a fuckin bowl. June 5, 2003..you need to come soon. FUCK YOU ALL.
I love you Benz...you know your my baby. Im so happy that the cops that pulled you over didnt take you to jail. Baby i would fucking have died. You violated parole and you would have been locked up for 2 years. I would of died with out you. I love you. How would i go on if he got locked up? He just got out about a year ago. God he cant go back to jail. He needs to be smart at what he is doing. Im so happy that he is finally getting his act together, because shit, what would i ever do with out him. I love him, we will get married. When he breaks up with his girlfriend.
So here i am agian. I just have to say one thing to the one I love, and to most of the guys that have been in my life.....When you have a girl and she is good for you, keep her, dont cheat on her. Dont tell her you love her, and be fucking around behind her back. You only need one girl, if the girl your with doesnt do it for you, dont keep her on your side and tell her you love her, when your fucking other girls. I love you Vince and I always will. We both fucked up, you more than me, but i did too. I fucked up so bad to have you not want to be with me, what is that. The worst feeling in the world is when the person you love is standing right next to you, and you cant have them. I love you Vince, I know your not the one for me, but for this phase of my life, you made me so happy, happier than ive ever been before in my life. I love you so much. Im happy we will always be friends.